The Law of Attraction Doesn’t Work


In 2006, an international phenomenon waved through. It was a book, or in my case a movie, The Secret. The concept was simple: act as if. The secret to having it all is believing you already do. It was Napoleon Hill’s concept in Think And Grow Rich, which was introduced to him, and to this day numerous books, motivational speakers and movies are still spreading the concept.

I was inspired after watching The Secret. I was pumped! I couldn’t contain my excitement. While I watched the movie it became more of a struggle for me to continue watching until the end than to stop the movie right there and immediately take action.

I made a vision board. I created a video, which I watched daily. I put a picture of money in my car. I believed I was already in a loving relationship. And just as the movie promised, my life started to become better. I went from hating my job to not just enjoying it, but killing it. I went from the bottom of the sales leaderboard to finishing second in the country. I was experiencing amazing travel, I bought my first condo, I fell in love. My life went from mediocre to all my dreams coming true within a few months. Now I am being so bold as to say the Law of Attraction doesn’t work.

When I first tried implementing the Law of Attraction I became hooked on the success it created in my life. I focused all my energy on the things I wanted. The future. Removing myself from the past. A couple of years later I created another vision board. I believed in the fairy-tale: if I want it bad enough, and I truly believe in it, act as if I already own it, and it will come, with certainty. However my success was coming with less and less immediacy. I went from feeling like my waiting time was becoming longer to feeling like I was in a never-ending wait. I was already an impatient person and not receiving my asks felt like a cruel joke brought on by the universe. Maybe it was just beginners luck?

Fast forward to last year. I was in the lowest place I had ever been in. I was constantly crying and could barely get out of bed. My life wasn’t anywhere I wanted it to be, nor could I see the light at the end of the tunnel. I kept thinking “how am I supposed to get anywhere if I don’t know how to get out of this moment”? I semi-seriously contemplated suicide. I couldn’t think about details, but if a semi-truck was heading right for me, I would stand right there, maybe even lie down. I finally woke up one morning and told myself I needed help. I needed someone other than my friends and family, who all couldn’t understand why I just couldn’t just “get happy”. I started therapy.
Over the months, as the sessions progressed, I began to release the pain and guilt that was keeping me stuck in my negative thought patterns. I then decided to do something that worked for me in the past, I created yet another vision board. I thought I could use the power of intention and practice the Law of Attraction. I focused on it every day during my meditation. I believed if I felt it in my heart, if I was thankful for the future husband that is to enter my life, I will receive him. It was meant to be. But after 5 months of focusing nothing happened. Nothing. I met some wonderful men, a couple of two-weeks flings, but not the soulmate connection I was praying for every night. Not the connection that I was putting forth as intention. I gave up. Maybe I was one of those women that was destined to never have a husband. Maybe I will forever be alone. I removed my vision board, and the soulmate list I had on my fridge. I changed my gratitude from my future husband to being thankful I was single. Thank you for this time to be alone. Thank you for allowing me to make choices in my life undisturbed. Thank you that I can focus on the things I love to enjoy and not have to compromise. As I became grateful for where I was in the moment the things I wanted in my life came to me naturally and in their own time.

1. Be Grateful Where You Are Now, Good and Bad


At my point of giving up I began this feeling of FTW (f*ck the world). I was unhappy. I still believed in positivity, but I also didn’t care anymore. I thought if this is where I have to be, so be it. Like a toddler on a tantrum I gave gratitude for being lonely, for eating my dinners alone, for moving into a new place by myself. Then slowly a shift started to occur; I actually did become grateful for those things. Not like I was seeing the silver lining, but rather I was truly grateful. Eating alone meant I was able to truly enjoy my meal, enjoy the textures and flavors. It also meant I was able to write more. My dinner conversation was with myself. My gratitude for where I was in this moment became entirely pure.

2. Release the Anticipation for the Future

If the Law of Attraction is to fully work it’s because you believe you already have arrived and not believing that you will arrive. Living in anticipation for the things that are yet to come leaves you in that position of longing and anticipation. It doesn’t make the current situation any better, in fact, it makes it worse. For impatient people, the worst thing to suffer from is more waiting. If love is what you want, look for all the ways you already are loved. If it prosperity, look for all the ways you are already prosperous. Release the idea that if you had this then your life will be complete. Realize it already is. I guarantee you already have an amazing life, it just needs to be recognized for what it is. And if your life is incredibly terrible, be thankful that you have choices. You have the ability to change it. You can change your outlook today, you can forgive, you can realize someone loves you unconditionally and/or you have the ability to unconditionally love someone else. All of this is already today.

3. Continue to Give Gratitude for Today

As your anticipation starts to release you will find yourself in more present moments. Right here, right now. It will start as snippets. A fleeting moment, but you will recognize it. Be truly grateful for the things that are currently yours, the situations you are put in and the belief that you are here because you need to be. Recognize all the opportunities the day is giving you and be thankful for those moments the moment it occurs. Thank you for my drive into work, it gives me the opportunity to stare at the mountains and sing my favorite song on the radio.

4. Ask and It Is Received

The universe has already heard your ask. If it is meant to be yours, it will come. It does not forget people’s wishes and desires. It does not rank requests by seniority. It has heard you the first time. It does not need reminding. The only thing you are doing by constantly asking is agonizing yourself, and the universe does not want that. It never did. Your request has been heard and will be delivered when the time is right. Believe that. Instead of focusing on the wait focus on all the great things about your current situation. If you life is to change this current moment will change with it. You will appreciate the growth so much more if you give delicate attention to what may soon never be again.

The Law of Attraction was supposed to be a tool to help people live and recognize the feeling that wherever you are, there you are. You are already here. We, unfortunately, became people that wanted to be anywhere but here. We wanted more, and more, and more. The Law of Attraction does not work for wanting, you will always want and never receive. You don’t want to be caught in a situation of longing. This is your journey, enjoy it. You will get to your destination in time. Enjoy the scenic route for exactly what it is.

Have you ever used the Law of Attraction to bring things into your life? Has it been successful? How do you appreciate the time between where you are and where you will one day be?

Kim Orlesky is an Executive Life Coach inspiring daily joy. She is a world traveler, author, one-time marathoner, adventurer, poor golfer, inconsistent yogi and puppy parent to her Weimaraner.

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  • Hey I know this is off topic but I was wondering if you knew of any
    widgets I could add to my blog that automatically
    tweet my newest twitter updates. I’ve been looking for a plug-in like this for
    quite some time and was hoping maybe you would have some experience with something like this.
    Please let me know if you run into anything. I truly enjoy reading your blog and I
    look forward to your new updates.

    • Kim Orlesky

      Thank you so much for getting in touch, no matter what the question.
      On my website I use a plug-in called Flow-Flow for the social stream. I do not know of any that auto-tweets once the blog has been posted. The only automation I’ve seen for RSS feeds is to auto email your newsletter database.
      I do use Hootsuite to schedule and auto post many of my tweets though. So in the case of my new blog posts, I will set up Hootsuite to tweet out the link several different times in a week (in addition to motivational quotes and event postings).
      Good Luck!