Why I LOVE Being On My Own

Happy woman singing and dancing with headphones at home, having fun.

For those of you that have been following my journey for a while there are two truths I have been quite open about:

 

  1. I am a hopeless romantic. I believe in real-life fairy tales and soulmates. I believe that one day I will be completely swept off my feet and be more madly in love than I could ever imagine.
  2. I have struggled openly about my past heartache and fear that fairy tales may never actually happen for me. Fortunately, as I become more mindful, I take a moment to breathe, calm my anxiety, and convince myself the best part of fairy tales is the prince always finds a way to get to his princess.

 

My current relationship status has stayed status quo for the longest period I have ever known. I have had a couple of short-term flings, but nothing has passed the 3-month “let’s plan our future” mark. Thankfully this means I am finally being choosy. I am saying that I am better off being awesome and single than in a relationship to force my fairy tale ending and avoid self-imposed speculation that comes with being a single mid-30s woman and imagining people thinking “I wonder what’s wrong with her?”

 

Love yourself first and everything falls into line. – Lucille Ball

 

Although I would love to be married, mother, and hopelessly in love Kim, I also really enjoy single, sole puppy-parent, selfish and completely in love with myself Kim. Here’s why:

 

  1. I listen to terrible music. I have an eclectic mix of indie, pop, and soft-rock ballads. When I am feeling a song, I can listen to it non-stop, repeat, 20-times in a row without getting sick of it. I get to do it and no one wants me to play something different.
  2. I love wearing unflattering comfy pants and oversized T-Shirts. At work or going out with friends, I am a very well-dressed person. I have more dresses than pants, I have drawers of jewelry and racks of shoes and purses. At home, I have a fashion alter-ego that appears and she encourages me to choose comfort above all else. No guy would ever swipe right on my tinder profile if they saw this look.
  3. I dance ridiculously while I am cooking. See the above comment about the terrible music, now imagine a mix between Carlton from Fresh Prince and Elaine from Seinfeld dancing. I believe most their moves are in my own routine. Arms up in the air, hips moving in unsynchronized jerking, all while cooking up a stir-fry.
  4. I have a lot of energy and a fervor to do ridiculous activities. While most people are wanting to chill out on their weekends, my energy level gets pumped right up. I hike in the mountains. I scope out odd events in the city, like adult science day, or improv theater, or star watching at the observatory (“I didn’t even know the city had an observatory”). I love doing really unique things and I don’t have to convince a significant other to try things out with me.
  5. However, my downtime is completely boring. Watch TV? No thanks, I would rather sit, read one of the many books sitting on my coffee table while drinking tea. When I do watch Netflix it’s Friends re-runs. Yes, I’ve seen them all, so I know I don’t have to fully pay attention when it is on.
  6. I work whenever the mood strikes me. This year I enrolled in evening coaching courses, weekend development courses, and launched a new blog and website. All of this requires a lot of time and energy. I believe in work-life balance and I would never cancel a commitment with someone or choose work over spending time with the person I love, but since I love writing I do it whenever I am having a creative moment. I watch my homework videos in the middle of a Saturday afternoon. I write while I am eating dinner on a Tuesday. I work on me whenever I feel like it and never need to consider anyone else’s feelings.
  7. I can change my nutrition habits. This month I decided to be a weekday vegetarian. I have chosen to stop drinking for an entire month because I want to. I never have to cook two meals, I never have to watch my partner open a bottle of wine and feel temptation win over. I can try so many things without convincing someone to sacrifice with me.
  8. I learned to be fully happy with my own company. Yes, I do have conversations with my dog (she has her own specific voice), but often it’s just me, and I like it that way. Several months back I wrote an entry Why I Travel Alone, and all of that, plus more has continued to develop.

 

When my prince does come I know I will not choose him because I am lonely, I will choose him because it makes me love myself even more.

 

Whether you are in a relationship or not, what do you love best about being on your own?


Kim Orlesky is an Executive Life Coach inspiring daily joy. Her focus is to help individuals find life balance by understanding their barriers and prioritizing important aspects of life.

She is a world traveller, author, one-time marathoner, adventurer, poor golfer, inconsistent yogi and puppy parent to her Weimaraner.  She is currently based in Calgary, Canada.
Join her weekly newsletter for up to date blog posts and announcements. Her book Finding (My)Self (Love): One Girl’s Journey of 17 Countries Across 4 Continents in 6 Months is available now in ebook or paperback.

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